Me: No! NO!
My Brother: What’s wrong!?
Me: She can’t build a chandelier!
My Brother: Why not?
Me: Because chandeliers always fall in movies!
My Brother: I’m sure it’ll be fine.
My Brother: …
THIS IS GENIUS!
i went to school with a pair of identical twins and one time one of them was like “i’m so hot, i’d fuck me” and he turned to wink suggestively at his brother who just batted his eyelashes and blew a kiss at him
did you go to ouran highschool
I love pirates because they have no concept on albeism. oh you have no leg? here have a peg leg. no hand?? well guess we gotta put a hook on that, give those sons of bitches a surprise. Blind in one eye, put an eyepatch on no one fucking cares, youre deaf??? go man the canons you glorious bastard.They dont care if youre disabled bcus as long as you can fuck shit up they literally dont fucking care.
I never thought about it this way. This is beautiful.
well… this post made me feel really old.
why do i keep laughing at the thought of female!spiderman…(spidergirl? spiderwoman?) getting caught without her mask on and the dude who catches her just goes on a rant about ‘fake geek girls’ and how ‘that costume isn’t even accurate oh my god’ and ‘comic-con was last week’
and her secret identity is saved because some dudebro in a batman t-shirt thinks he’s hot shit
Matt Damon was conflicted when friends Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck called on him to complete the ALS ice bucket challenge.